The Boatowner’s Calendar by jellyby jelly

Item posted: Tuesday 19th February , 2013

The Boatowner’s Calendar by jelly

When it comes to living on a boat, there are many notable occasions that occur every year and are completely unavoidable. They’re mostly negative. In fact, they’re all negative.

The boatowner’s calendar goes something like this:

January - It’s snowing; you can’t even drive to the boat let alone go out. Most depressing day of the year, most depressing month of the year, why did I buy a boat, another year of throwing money into a hole in the water.
February - Offer to take significant other out for Valentine’s Day sail, be threatened with threat of divorce.
March - Time to antifoul in preparation for new season. Get boat lifted, notice rudder has fallen off over the winter somehow. Spend hundreds on paint, masking tape, and shower gel to scrub away Smurf-like look once finished painting.
April - Woohoo, it’s re-launch season! That’s until the weather turns shite and the boatyard hoist is fully-booked for another month. April is quickly forgotten about.
May - Finally escape to the Solent for the bank holiday weekend along with every other boat on the south coast, wonder what on earth this sailing malarkey is all about - I thought it was about getting away from the crowds, not joining them...
June - Rain, rain and summer gales make June unsailable.
July - Rain, rain and summer gales make July unsailable.
August - Rain, rain and summer gales make August unsailable.
September - Shit! We haven’t used the boat this year and it’s nearly the winter and that’s terrible and QUICK! WE’RE GOING SAILING FOR TWO WEEKS! The boat hasn’t been used properly for months so nothing works and everything breaks and the significant other threatens divorce by voluntary man-overboard.
October - Winter rates begin, marinas offer discounts on haul-outs, but you put on a brave face around the sailing club: “Hruuumph! October? Pah, I’ll be sailing all through winter.” Your nose grows a little longer.
November - Too cold for sailing. Time to see if you can get an extension on that Yachtmaster correspondence course you started last winter and forgot about.
December - You suggest spending Christmas on the boat. Another case for divorce, apparently.

Which of your favourite annual occurrences have I missed out?



Download a free Nautical Calendar for your Mac Here


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Article by jelly

jelly shares insights into the life and loves of a liveaboard writer, sailor and young entrepreneur.

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